


I can't let you go

by TheLittleDarkQueen



Series: Still, I love you. [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Admiral Shiro, Alien Biology, Angst, Blade of Marmora Keith (Voltron), Concerned Krolia, Concerned Regris, Crying Keith (Voltron), Keith first kiss, Keith first time, Keith in love with Shiro, M/M, Married Couple, Married Curtis/Shiro (Voltron), Mutual Masturbation, Not A Fix-It, POV Keith (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Post-Canon, Purring, Regris and Keith are Blade Mates, Sad Keith (Voltron), Soft Encounter, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:40:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28251027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLittleDarkQueen/pseuds/TheLittleDarkQueen
Summary: "He looked at her mother's face. She looked so worried for him, almost in pain. He was hurting not only Shiro, but his own mom by his stupid feelings he didn’t know how to control. He hated himself.“I thought you needed time to process everything but, it has been almost a deca-phoeb.”He bit his lip and sighed. Admitting his feelings to someone was always a difficult task to him. She deserved to know, even when he felt pathetic admitting this.He gulped his tears trying to sound as emotionless as possible.“Mom, i don’t know how to stop loving him. I… just can’t.”"Keith had always been in love with Shiro, but he married another man. He needs to get over it.
Relationships: Curtis/Shiro (Voltron), Keith & Krolia (Voltron), Keith/Regris (Voltron), Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Series: Still, I love you. [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2069478
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	I can't let you go

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, my name is TheLittleDarkQueen. This is the third oneshot from the "Still, I love you" series.
> 
> I will update once in a while.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate Kudos and Comments!!
> 
> You can follow me on Twitter if you want @TheLittleDarkQ

The location of the real Blade central was in a quadrant with difficult access and highly encoded communication methods. The trip to enter the quadrant was definitely not for pilots beginners, but Keith was already at a level that made this route a child play, more so since he had been doing the same course for almost two deca-pheobes.

Piloting was always a pleasant experience for Keith, but his mind was able to wander. He had slept almost nothing after what he did in his quarters at the public central. He was really tired and he knew that his almost annoyed face would keep the recruit for trying to talk to him. It wasn’t necessary, though. Just his monotone voice and few exchanged frases with the mask on were enough to keep the poor recruit in the resting room of the small ship. 

The trip was quiet, he liked the silence. And the passing of stars and nebulas were a good distraction. Contemplating the stars had always been a way to relax himself. Even in the desert, alone. Marginalized. Sad with grief and denial. Trying to believe that Shiro was alive, that the Garrison was lying. That he was coming back. He felt connected to the elder by watching the milky way at night. 

But now, the thought of Shiro just made him feel wretched and guilty.

The arrival was on schedule, a few Blades of the training group waiting for the new recruit. He exchanged a few greetings with them and directed himself to his quarters. He was weary and he felt almost glad at the fact that his eyes seemed to be closing with tiredness. He needed to sleep for real, a thing that he was not able to do for the past two quintants. 

When he got in and dropped his bag on the floor, he heard the incoming message from his datapad. He took the device in hand and read the notification. His mother was asking him for a meeting immediately. He knew what this was about and the idea already made him want to ignore it and just sink into the bunk. But he couldn’t do that to his mother. 

With a sigh, he dragged himself through the hallways till his mother's office. It was the lunch break in base because the hallways were deserted, with a few Blades passing by with a quick pace in direction to the dining hall. Krolia didn’t like to eat with company, so she preferred to pass by the kitchens and take her meal to his workplace at the time. Keith has always been late for lunch and arrived when almost anyone was still in the room. At the moment, though, he was not even hungry. He could only think of the soft sheets waiting in his bunk.

He arrived in her office soon enough. She had already eaten her meal and Kolivan was nowhere to be seen. So they were alone.

She stopped looking at whatever document she was reading in her datapad to see him. She smiled at him but her expression was concerned, even when she was trying to hide it.

“It’s good to see you, Keith.”

He just sat in the chair near her desk with a tired smile. He didn’t try to hide his tiredness because he knew his mom could tell, even while trying to mask it. 

“Hi mom. The mission went alright, as usual. We arrived on schedule.” He didn’t know what else to say regarding that. He would submit the file with the adequate data as protocol, he had time until a few more quintants. It wasn’t interesting or important enough for a direct report. She wasn’t even in charge of the recruits. So this was personal. 

“You look really tired, Kit.” She always went straight to the point. She was a ‘no nonsense' woman after all. “Were you able to rest in the public base?”

She knew the answer, but she wanted for him to tell her.

“Not really.” 

He looked at her mother's face. She looked so worried for him, almost in pain. He was hurting not only Shiro, but his own mom by his stupid feelings he didn’t know how to control. He hated himself.

“These missions aren’t helping me.” He told her. 

He preferred to face the matter with sincerity. He couldn’t reject the missions so he never really discussed the reason for them. It was not necessary, both parties aware of the unsaid parts. Already past a phoeb it was clear that they were not working to improve his resting habits.

“I thought you needed time to process everything but, it has been almost a deca-phoeb.” 

She had felt his love for Shiro in the quantum abyss, almost as her’s. But their experiences with love were different and her mother’s methods were not going to work on him. He didn’t want to confess how lame he felt every time the anguish consumed him. How the yearning never seemed to fade, and how helpless and lonely the situation made him. How much it hurt to see her mother's worried face at him.

He bit his lip and sighed. Admitting his feelings to someone was always a difficult task to him. He got used to it with Shiro. He still felt a little bit reluctant with his mother but she had always been sincere. She deserved to know, even when he felt pathetic admitting this. 

He gulped his tears trying to sound as emotionless as possible.

“Mom, i don’t know how to stop loving him. I… just can’t.”

He felt the constriction on his throat. He closed his fists trying to repress the sudden heartache and a rebel sob. 

She stood from her seat and went all the way around the desk. Her embrace was strong and reassuring. Enough for a few tears to drop unwillingly.

“I know this is difficult Kit.” She told him while petting his head. “It hurts, but you need to let him go. He already chose his happiness. He wouldn’t want you to be in pain.”

She kept caressing the back of his head maintaining the tight embrace. He wanted to be alone in his bunk, curl up under the sheets and cry his heart’s content. But here, he tried to remain still while crying in silence. 

“I don’t know how, mom.”

He felt so lost. This was his first heartbreak. It felt similar to the grief in the desert, but the rejection was something new he just didn’t know how to deal with coming from Shiro. He had been rejected by everyone throughout his life. At the orphanage, at school, at the Garrison. Shiro was the first who believed in him. The first who supported him. His first friend, his first guide. His first love. It felt wrong to know he didn’t want him. He knew he loved him as a friend. It had been enough. But now his mind was filled with all this ‘will never be’ thoughts. With all his repressed wants.

Krolia took his face in her hands, carefully sweeping his tears with her thumbs. 

“Why don’t you take some time to think about this? Try to rest. Talk with some friends about it. Maybe Lance or Hunk would listen. They know both of you really well.”

He sighed. He hasn't talked to the paladins for a long time. Last time they met was at Shiro’s wedding. Everyone took their own path after the war. Lance remained on earth as a farmer with his family, trying to mourn Allura by himself. He clearly wanted space from them. He knew Pidge and Hunk would keep in touch and check on him. The other two pursued their ambitions in space, and with their personalities, he was assured they were going to keep in contact with the others and each other. 

He didn’t keep track with the Paladins as he would have wanted. He was really busy with Blades missions after everything, same as Shiro. But he wasn’t really good with ‘social stuff’ and in the end, he felt that he didn’t really belong to Voltron. He had led because he didn’t have any other option and then he left. With the Blades, he connected with his heritage, his Galra side. They welcomed him and accepted him. They recognized his work. While he felt like he snuck in the cadets Voltron group, his only real connection with Shiro. He came to like the other Paladins but he never felt like he belonged. 

It felt wrong to contact them after not doing that for a long time, and only for advice. Maybe he could talk to Hunk. He felt really close to the guy in the last moments of Voltron and he was kind in nature. He could think about it first.

“Okay, I’ll think about it.”

“Take your time Kit. Just tell me beforehand and I will put you on vacation leave as long as you need.”

She hugged him again and kissed his forehead. 

“I’ll always be with you, no matter what. Now go to sleep, you look really tired.”

He showed her a watery tired smile.

“Thank you, mom.”

He parted to his quarters soon after. The trip through the corridors felt longer than usual, his feet heavy as lead. He couldn’t take his suit before falling on his bunk. He felt the soft pillow on his face and just knocked out. 

__________________________________________

The sound of a knocking on his door woke him abruptly.

He felt cold and a little bit sweaty under his uniform, the wet feeling on his nape uncomfortable. He was on top of his bunk, his blanket forgotten under him. He checked his datapad. No new messages. He'd been out for almost six vargas. More than what he was used to sleep lately. He must'd been really tired.

The knocking sound returned, followed up with a voice. “Keith, are you there?”

He incorporated himself from the bed with slow motions and swept apart a piece of hair from his face. He walked to the door and pushed the button next to it. The door swooped open. 

A familiar tall figure stood in front of him. 

“Regris...” Keith felt a little bit confused in the presence of his fellow Blade. “Is everything ok? Is there an urgent mission?”

He couldn’t think of any other reason for the visit of the galra to his personal quarters. It was the first time that something like that happened.

“No! Nothing like that.” The other responded, alarmed. 

Confusion clouded Keith’s mind. 

“Then why…?” He started, but he interrupted himself by the passing sound of a group of Blades in the corridor. 

“Um” Regris muttered while the group crossed the path behind them and walked through, eyes directed at them with curiosity. The galra waited till they were alone again to continue.

“Can we talk in private?”

Keith was a little bit at loss, but shrugged. “Sure. Come in.” And he moved himself from the door, letting him in.

His quarters in the base were nothing ostentatious. On the contrary, the Marmora were always focusing on efficiency and covering the minimal necessities. Space bases weren’t that big for a starter and Keith wouldn’t know what to do with more than this. At least he didn’t have to share the room like when he was a cadet in the Garrison. Still, it was a small room, with a bunk, a small desk with a chair and a chest for personal use. The door at the side conducted to the tiny toilet with a small stall shower, another improvement from his Garrison days. Although the bunk and the walls were larger, thought for taller and bigger creatures. 

Keith sat on his desk chair and with a gesture invited Regris to sit on the bunk in front of him.

“So? What do you want to talk about?” He asked the galra.

He was a little bit surprised actually. He didn’t have a bad relationship with Regris at all but he was not the talkative type. The galra in general weren’t. 

“Um” the bigger alien seemed a little hesitant before speaking. “I was worried.”

“About?” Keith responded.

“You.”

Wait, what?

Keith and Regris had been fellow Blade mates for a long time. They got in the organization by the same time, they trained together and had been on the same teams for missions really often. They both were on the shyer side, but they had this unspoken camaraderie from starting together. 

From all the Blades Keith worked with, he was more relaxed when they paired them up ‘cause he knew how he worked and his fighting style. It was nice to have someone familiar on his team. And they’d shared a lot of off time together too. His presence was always calm and they enjoyed the silence without disturbing each other. 

But he never thought he would be worried for him. 

“Why?”

“You were off with a bad injury for almost a phoeb and Kolivan didn’t let you take the long mission on the Karthulian System. I thought you maybe weren’t completely recovered. And then I heard that you came back from the public base from a simple transportation mission. Why would they put you in that kind of mission?” 

By his expression, Keith could tell he was genuinely concerned. He was still at loss. He didn’t think they were that close. Or that he was important enough to him to come and check how he was doing. They’d been working together in almost every mission after the realities restoration, though. 

“My injury healed okay. Um, I never thought you were worried about it.”

“Why wouldn’t I be worried for Blade mate?”

“Um...” Keith didn’t know what to say. He was a little surprised at the attention. 

“You also had been looking really tired for a while. You still look like that, no offense.” The guy said while scraping his scalp. 

“You noticed that too.”

He bited his lip with shame. Of course he noticed. He thought he had things under control but… If his teammates figured him out, he was clearly delusional. Everyone had been noticing he looked like shit. Great. 

Regris looked at him, still hesitant but definitely worried.

“I didn’t want to overstep, sorry. I just wanted to check on you.” He started to stand.

Keith stepped up and took him by the arm. 

“I’m sorry, Regris. I didn’t know. I never thought I would make you worried. I didn’t think you cared.”

“Wait, what?” Regris turned and faced him. “Are we not friends?” He said, his voice tinted with outrage. 

“Are we?” Keith asked, genuinely shocked. 

“Keith, for real? You are one of the dearest blades. I care for you. We are comrades.” 

He didn’t know why, but when he realised it was too late. He felt his cheeks suddenly wet. He couldn’t believe Regris' words. He felt comfortable with the Blades but distant at the same time. He thought he belonged to Marmora for his heritage, but also because they recognized his work. But he never, ever, imagined his teammates would feel actual affection for him. 

“Hey, Keith, Are you alright?” Regris panicked a bit in face of his reaction.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” He muttered after a sob. He scrubbed his face whith the side of his sleeve.

Regris was his friend. He still had a friend, who wasn’t Shiro, or the paladins. He remembered his mom’s advice: to talk about it with a friend.

“I’m sorry too. I’m not good with words.” the galra said. “The others are kind of shy with you too. You seem a little unapproachable.”

That made him laugh. “I come along as rough, I guess.”

“Not at all. You are really great to work with.” Regris rushed to respond. “I think they are shy because you are a really gifted fighter. And you always looked so composed at missions.”

“For real?” He laughed.

“You’re also the Black Paladin. It’s a little intimidating.” the big guy laughed too.

“I would never have thought that.”

So his teammates were a little distant with him ‘cause they looked up to him a bit. Never in his life he would have believed he could get to that stage in life. It made him a little bit happy, even when his emotions were such a mess.

The mood between them lightened up a bit after that. They sat back again, this time both on the bunk side by side. 

“I’m sorry. Krolia could tell how tired I’d been lately and assigned me to transport the recruits from the public base to this one. The schedule is more regular, she thought it would help me rest.”

“You look tired, though.” Regris responded.

“I know.” 

He hesitated. He just realized his friend status with Regris and it made him nervous to share all of what was going on with him. It felt weird. If it were Shiro he could tell, he probably had noticed his distress. He could read him as a book. Well, maybe not this Shiro, he was too busy with work and loving his husband to notice. At least he had been successfully hiding it from him. 

“It’s because of Admiral Shirogane’s wedding, Isn’t it?”

He was in shock for a minute there.

“Wait. How did you know?” 

“Well, you got really busy and really tired with missions after the wedding. And everyone knows your affections for the Admiral. You have to be blind to not realize.” 

Keith felt pathetic. It was that easy for someone to notice his situation. He was a complete mess and everyone could tell why. He wanted to hide in his room and never come out, just be there with his embarrassment for ever.

“Shit.”

He cringed and slouched, hugging his knees and hiding his face.

He felt a palm on his shoulder.

“You don’t need to feel bad about it. It’s understandable.”

“What do you mean?” Keith asked, uncovering his face a little and looking to the bigger galra.

“When we love someone, the galra often feel restless away from them. It could tire us a lot, not being able to touch them. And when unrequited, it's harder, though it’s not that usual.”

“Unrequited love is unusual?” Keith asked. He didn’t really know how anything romantic worked for the Galra. His mother never really explained it to him.

Regris blushed. He looked a little uncomfortable.

“Um. There are exceptions, but mostly, Galra could like anyone. But to love, we need to have a really deep connection with our partner. That is something that builds with time, and normally works both ways. When they are on missions away from each other, both sides get restless. That's why partners tend to get paired up for missions.” 

Keith could tell that the topic made Regris a little embarrassed. He wasn’t that comfortable either but he appreciated the information. He thought he knew pretty well the galra already but he still wasn’t aware of a lot of things. He felt a little bad for not knowing something so important.

Maybe his galra side was dominating the way he felt for Shiro.

“My love for him makes me restless?”

“Looks like it.” Regris responded.

So he was normal, at least. In a way, it was relieving. But then again, he didn’t know how to deal with it. 

“Can Galra stop being in love?”

Regris looked at him with worry in his eyes.

“It’s possible.”

“How?” Keith asked quickly. Almost like a slip of his lips. Involuntary, desperate.

“Time, I guess. It’s unusual.” He responded sadly.

Keith sighed. So this was it. He needed time to undo a feeling he felt so integrated to himself that the absence scared him more than dying. Being in love with Shiro was a part of him. It was part of what made him, himself. He didn’t know how to be Keith without it. Maybe he was going to be someone else. Or was it even possible? He would be happy if it hurted a little less. He would be content with that. It was Shiro after all. If he was going to die loving someone he thought Shiro was deserving of such loyalty. 

A strong pang of pain took over him. He felt like crying again. But he didn’t want to expose himself more. He tried to contain the waterfall, but failed.

He felt a pair of arms engulfing him. His face rested on a big wide chest. A hand patted his head and caressed his hair in slow motions.

“ ‘m sorry” Keith muttered while sobbing. 

“Don’t apologise.”

He felt a rumbling sound coming from Regris' body. 

“Are you purring?” Keith asked, still tearing. 

“It’s a rattle.” He responded.

He knew something about that. It was a soothing sound made by parents to calm their kits. He didn’t know about friends doing that to help each other, though. It was definitely soothing. He relaxed after a few minutes. The vibrations coming from Regris’ chest against his body acted like a tranquilizer. 

After a few minutes Regris eased his embrace. Keith felt calmer than before. A little spent but in a good way. They separated a bit but Regris kept touching his arms.

“Thanks.” Keith muttered. His voice cracking a little. 

Regris looked at him intensely. Still worried but relieved. He reached his hand to Keith’s face again, caressing his cheek.

Keith closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling. He hadn't been touched this gently since… he couldn’t remember. Maybe, when he was in Voltron, by Shiro. A long time ago. 

He felt the other hand in his arm go up to his shoulder and down again. The one on his cheek navigated, their fingers on his jaw and then moving down his neck slowly till his collarbone. 

A sighed escaped Keith’s lips. He hadn’t felt like this since…. never. No one touched him like this before, carefully and tenderly. 

“Keith?” Regris called him with a really low voice he never heard him using before.

He opened his eyes sluggishly. Regris’ face was closer. His pupils dilated. A fang biting his lip. His expression hesitant, insecure. But Keith could recognize the want, uncovered. 

Somehow, something ignited in him. A little flame. He didn’t feel uncomfortable in sight of the evident interest. This touch didn’t feel wrong. It was calm, and caring. 

“Touch helps.” Regris mumbled. His hand came back to his face. A thumb caressed Keith’s lips, opening them. “Can I?”

He wasn’t afraid. He liked the touch. He didn’t want it to end yet.

He reached up his hand and touched the one on his face, grabbing it slightly. Keith closed his eyes and rested his cheek on them. 

The hand on his arm grabbed him firmer and then, a tender pair of lips rested on top of his. 

He didn’t feel shocked or disgusted. It was pleasant. He followed up the slow movement of that pair of lips. They held each other slightly, breath getting in and holding again. Getting wetter. 

A tongue lapped his upper lip and then the one below. Asking for permission. Keith opened up and then their tongues were touching, carefully. The feeling of his mouth being full was like a spark. He felt a rush of pleasure going up his spine. A whine escaped his lips. 

Regris' hand went from his arm to his waist, holding him firmly. He deepened the kiss, the pace quicker, his hand holding the back of his head, fingers entangled with his hair. His hand was big, holding Keith’s head entirely. 

Keith’s hand grabbed firmly the other’s upper arm, sparks of pleasure making his hand tightened his grip involuntary. 

Regris advanced on him, making Keith’s back bent to the bed. Soon after he landed on the mattress, Keith’s other hand squeezing Regris’ shoulder. The big hand on his waist navigated and explored his chest, his abdomen. The other held his neck and head, pressing slightly to redirect the kiss. The exchange was deep and wet. Still tender, but hungrier.

Keith’s mind blanked, and let himself just feel. It was overwhelming. This was the first time Keith kissed someone. And being touched in such a way was new too. He hadn’t had the time, more less the desire. His mind had always been full of Shiro, never considered into someone else. His affection for the elder was pure for a long time, longer than any other teenager would have. 

Keith thinking sexualy about him happened after losing Shiro in space and bringing him back. It awakened something in him, but still, the timing was bad. He couldn’t explore much of that side of him, the war against the Empire consuming his time and energy. It was a sudden thought while trying to get the heat out of his system in between missions. He needed efficiency. And when he had the time to rest, he was so tired he would pass out, no energy left for anything else.

He never thought that being touched by someone, even when that person was not Shiro, would feel this good. Regris’ hands were big but delicate while holding him. Keith noticed all the sounds escaping him, whimper and whining noises, high pitched and desperate. Pleasure sitting heavy in his abdomen. His dick hardening and leaking. 

Regris’ hand went down and grazed his pubis, noticing his arousement. He automatically took off his hand from Keith's pants. He moved away a bit, ending the kiss and looking at him. Keith opened his eyes and looked at the galra. His gaze was sharp with blown pupils, his light fur slightly damp and his cheeks darker, flushed in plum. His tail moved behind him, side to side with intended movement. 

The question was present in his expression, waiting for some kind of permission from him, still agitated but respecting his desires. That melted Keith’s heart a little. He was being held with such care. It made him confident enough to reach for the galra’s hand and place it on top of his hardening cock. Something glinted in Regris’ eyes from the action, feeling at ease again and grabbing him with intent.

A plain moan escaped Keith’s lips.

“Fuck.”

Things escalated quickly. A few strokes on top of his clothes had Keith squirming and panting. Regris stopped again, sneaking up a finger under his pants and underwear, a playful smile on his face. He looked more confident, still asking for permission with his eyes. It was an attractive look on him.

“Please...” Keith pleaded with a babble. 

Regris' eyes seemed to shine with his eager response. He introduced a few more fingers and freed his cock from the tight pants of the Blade armor. His fingers encircled his hardness, soft traces around it made his breathing uneven. 

A few moments later he was a panting, leaking, wet mess. Regris took off his pants completely, exposing his toned legs. Keith had his chest armor removed, leaving only the undershirt rolled up to his chest. A lot of his body was naked and exposed, but Regris only seemed to get more excited by the sight of it. He was hard under his pants too, but didn’t make a move to free himself. That didn’t settle well in Keith's mind. He raised his hand and grabbed the edge of Regris’ pants.

“You too. Let’s do it together.”

He looked at Keith a little surprised, like he never contemplated the possibility.

“Okay.” He muttered with a hoarse voice. 

He lowered his pants, exposing himself.

He was huge, with a deep purple color. And it had ridges. The oddity of Regris’ member didn’t put him off. On the contrary, he felt a rush of heat take over his body. 

Keith made the intent of touching Regris’ crotch too, but the galra held his hand, intertwining their fingers. He placed himself on top of him and started to grind his shaft against Keith’s. 

Keith started to feel hot all over, sweating a lot. Regris seemed in a similar state, panting more unrestrained than before. The pace of their grinding naturally adjusted to each other. Regris’ cock leaked a translucent, lilac fluid that soon soaked both members completely, making everything hotter and exhilarating. 

Keith felt absorbed in pleasure, just getting higher and higher. The room was filled with his panting and whining, along with the sound of the touching of their bodies. He was so close. Regris lowered his body, taking both of his dicks in hand and started to thrust. Then he took Keith’s face and kissed him senseless. It was deep and messy. Playful. 

And like that, both reached their orgasm almost at the same time. 

After a groan, the tension on Keith’s body receded. He felt his body melting on the comforter. Regris fell on top of him. He was big and heavy, but Keith didn’t have the energy or the mind to pull him apart. His eyes closed and his breath started to even. And like that, he fell asleep. 

____________________________________________

Shiro was in front of him, resting his head on the pillow. He was asleep. Keith took the chance and caressed his face. He looked peaceful and rested, the soft glow of the sun covering his face. 

His mouth twitched when he traced softly the edge of his lips. His eyes opened with a little flutter. He scrubbed his eye with a sleepy manner while yawning. After that, his soft gray eyes focused on him. He took Keith’s hand with his to his chest. 

“G’ Morning babe.”

“Shiro.”

__________________________________________

Keith woke up slowly. He felt hot. He was on his side but felt the weight of something on his waist. His front irradiated warmness. He snuggled into it. He felt at ease, regretting waking a little and hoping to sleep some more. 

Something moved and pushed him to the warmness. Then he felt the breath on the top of his head. 

Shiro was such a cuddler. 

A sound came from the side. A notification in his datapad. 

Reluctantly, Keith tried to move to get his device. But the arm on his waist got him firmly.

"Hey, Shiro. Move." Keith mumbled, opening his eyes.

He was stuck to the other’s chest. Keith used his hand and brought himself up.

"Shiro, I need to see this." he spoke again. But then he looked around and froze. 

It wasn’t Shiro, sleeping beside him. It was Regris. 

The galra looked sleepy but clearly awake.

“Hey.” he muttered.

Keith contemplated him without saying a thing, in shock. He looked calm.

Keith’s mind started to remember the recent events and then he looked at himself. He was almost naked. His undershirt up to his chest and the rest exposed. His flat penis covered in a lilac kind of crust that went all up to his pelvis. 

A strange feeling came up to him. Something like embarrassment, self hatred and horror. He felt disgusting. He was disgusting. And he was thinking it was Shiro at his side on the bunk, completely forgetting everything that happened. 

He had kissed and touched intimately. But not with the person he loved. 

He couldn’t stand being there anymore. 

He stood up quickly and tried to cover his underparts awkwardly.

“Keith, it’s okay.” Regris said from the bed.

“No, it’s not.” He responded. 

Keith turned himself around until he was facing the wall. He couldn’t stand watching this. He barely could grasp the weight of what happened. Suddenly sadness possessed him and started to cry. He was a fool if he thought being with someone who wasn’t Shiro would feel good. In the moment he had enjoyed it, and he hated himself for that, but now he felt a hole in his chest, sucking up everything. 

“Regris… I’m sorry.” Keith apologised, still with his back turned. “I want to be alone, please.” He begged, trying to contain his sobbing. 

He heard movement from the bunk, and in less than a minute, Regris had standed and left the room. 

When Keith finally heard the click of the door he duck down and started to weep for real.


End file.
